January 5, 2010

and it's so fucking loud in this room, i can hardly hear my thoughts think.
they're weak and distant, but they're there,
begging me to speak,
paper to pen.
the loudest voice i know.

my voice. so hushed, most of the time.
but not this time.
not this year.
this is my year, to shine.
it has to be, because i can't keep saying it anymore.
im sick of this quiet. this hushed sound.
what good is this mind if i'm too tired to use it?
what good is any of this, if it's not alive, and free.

so today i set myself free.
i'll grant my own wish, that i've been skipping rocks on for years.

and still, here i sit. speaking paper and pen.
again.

i yawn at the thought of anything but.