september 12, 2009

what is it today, that compels me to meet paper with pen.
what emotions are present, running from my mind to vein.
is there even anything there, today.
or am i still numb. numb to this page, like i'm numb to touch.
too much thought, not enough flow.
no release, no relax. i can never just unwind.
and i hate these wasted lines, wasted pages.
i wish my voice would find me once more.
i don't want to be separated, anymore.

lost.
so lost.
i want to be found.
i want to find, all that i've been looking for.
even if i don't quite know what that is.
don't know what to look for, or where to look.
i guess that makes finding it virtually impossible.
and maybe that's the point.
maybe i'll always be looking, searching for something,
more.
something inside myself.
something that makes me, me.
maybe that's what growth is. always searching.
maybe.
feels like i'll never know the answer.
and maybe that's okay.