september 15, 2009

my mood is shot by the time the shots kick in.
this drug does me no good,
like this sunshine on my cloudy mind.

it's useless and wasteful, and i'm feeling completely empty.
washed-up, washed-out, and wasted,
like these washed-up ways and wasted days.

too many things left unsaid.
too many bows left undone.
so what now, what will become
of me.
of you.
of us.

will any of this matter in time,
or will these moods fade,
away.

fade to gray.
fade to black.
just fade.
faded is my heart; it's color, it's pulse.
straining to beat, to make a sound.
to make any kind of anything at all.
a beat, a sign of life, in this lifeless mess of bones and flesh, i call home.

faded. faint. empty. numb.

always left so numb.